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Autism and ADHD often ends up in an interesting dichotomy in my head. Routines are good, but then boring. We need to be stimulated, but not too stimulated. Burnout comes from both sides of the equation. And many systems that are really ADHD defense mechanisms were created by the autistic side of me.
"many systems that are really ADHD defense mechanisms were created by the autistic side of me." Whoa 🤯. This could explain so much!
Pain at any level is distracting, and ADHD brains aren’t great at filtering out sensory distractions.
Yuuup! Any day I end up with a tension headache, almost no matter how mild, my focus goes out the window, which ruins my ability to concentrate on work! It really sucks.
[I]mpulsivity and hyperactivity symptoms evolve over time[…]. While an impulsive child might run into the street, an impulsive adult might […] say yes to an extra project (or five).
Whoa, hey now! No need to call me out so hard, Jessica!
Some people use small talk to see if they have chemistry with another person, which helps us decide if a deeper relationship is possible.
Wait wait wait, what? Can some neurotypical person please explain this (do any neurotypical folk even follow me!? 😂) What sort of indicators, feelings, or whatever do you get to tell you that you have chemistry with someone, from nothing more than small talk? (You know, as opposed to discovering shared interests or values?)
Evidence suggests that ADHD brains don’t release anticipatory dopamine the same way neurotypical brains do. Reuptake—the reabsorption of the dopamine—may also happen before it makes it to a receptor. When this happens, our brains don’t “learn” that a behavior like filling out tax forms will lead to anything good. And if nothing good comes from a behavior, what’s the point of doing it? This is why it feels as though activities that are more immediately rewarding hijack our brains. When we abandon tax forms and start playing video games, we feel good, and dopamine gets released. If there’s enough dopamine to hit at least some receptors, our brain learns to prioritize video games, making it more likely that we will end up firing up the game console the next time we need to do something similarly tedious.
Oof, how sucky is this!?
It doesn’t matter if the task is critical to something I care deeply about, or entirely irrelevant and a giant waste of my time. What matters is whether or not my brain feels like doing it. Sometimes I really can’t do something unless my brain cooperates.
I have struggled so much to accept, let alone explain this!
Those with ADHD tend to have a later chronotype—that is, the time we’re naturally inclined to sleep is later than usual. For those with these chronotypes, melatonin (the sleep hormone) is released later, delaying our bedtime.
oh ok cool
I was still waiting tables while working on the channel and learning about my brain. At this point, I had worked at restaurants for so long and gotten so good at it that I barely had to think about what I was doing. I was on autopilot. … One day, the system was updated and the menus were rearranged. They didn’t change completely, but they were different enough to keep me from relying on muscle memory or mental autopilot. I was now in what I call manual mode: I had to think about each action, actively look for what I needed, figure out which category a menu item was in, and then scan the screen for what I was looking for. In other words, I had to rely on my executive function. These changes were disabling. … Now when I’m struggling to (executive) function, I check if any of the systems I rely on have been thrown into manual mode. And to remind myself that when a lot of my life is on manual mode, it’s not a good time to add more to my plate.
My takeaway from this is that any friction that forces us to switch from autopilot to manual mode (thus engaging our executive function) has a much greater impact on those of us with executive functioning disorders. This is really useful to keep in mind!
Examples of the ADHD Tax … - Vegetables. (Yup. Go check the drawer. I’ll wait.)
I feel very called out by this, Jessica!
Almost every system I set up to manage the stuff in my life broke down almost immediately, usually due to some combination of the following: I forgot to use it. I forgot how to use it. I lost it. I got bored of it. I forgot it existed. I put it in a Very Important Place and now I can’t find it. I promised myself I’d update it later. (I did not.) I got distracted. I broke my phone and hadn’t backed it up. I accidentally deleted the app or couldn’t remember my password. I couldn’t afford it anymore. Life happened—I got sick or went to a friend’s house on a day I was supposed to clean/cook/organize a thing, and I never went back to it again. And when a system fell apart, so did whatever it was supposed to help me manage. My stuff. My time. My relationships. My finances
Super relatable quote about “systems” to help organise your life! #ADHD
This book was incredibly helpful, with simple, straightforward tips to slowly but surely start forming positive habits (e.g. going for a daily walk, even if it's just to the end of the street), with a solid scientific backing, including citations to many supportive studies.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who's struggling, even just a little, with their mental health.
This is a somewhat prescriptive book targeted at fairly traditional family structures. It's great to have some clearly defined steps for how to manage your finances, rather than more general wishy-washy advice, assuming you're within the target demographic for whom this advice makes sense.
I perceived some of the prose as somewhat arrogant, but maybe some people need that sort of upfront and direct approach; it didn't quite work for me.
My intent is to use this as a basis for where to start researching what would work for me, and take from the book what works for me, and leave what doesn't.
Through a mixture of memoir, opinion and investigative journalism, Clementine Ford exposes just how unequal the world continues to be …
