The Good Mother Myth - Outside of a Dog

Paperback

ISBN:: 9781250336644

No rating (1 review)

When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong?

For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting. It seems ludicrous to imagine modern moms taking advice from midcentury researchers. Yet, their bad ideas about so-called “good” motherhood have seeped so pervasively into our cultural norms. In The Good Mother Myth, Reddy debunks the flawed lab studies, sloppy research, and straightforward misogyny of researchers from Harry Harlow, who claimed to have discovered love …

When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong?

For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting. It seems ludicrous to imagine modern moms taking advice from midcentury researchers. Yet, their bad ideas about so-called “good” motherhood have seeped so pervasively into our cultural norms. In The Good Mother Myth, Reddy debunks the flawed lab studies, sloppy research, and straightforward misogyny of researchers from Harry Harlow, who claimed to have discovered love by observing monkeys in his lab, to the famous Dr. Spock, whose bestselling parenting guide included just one (1!) illustration of a father interacting with his child.

This timely and thought-provoking book will make you laugh, cry, and want to scream (sometimes all at once). Blending history of science, cultural criticism, and memoir, The Good Mother Myth pulls back the curtain on the flawed social science behind our contemporary understanding of what makes a good mom.

2 editions

Jim Brown reviewed The Good Mother Myth

"The 'good mother' isn't really a person. She's a subject of capitalism."

No rating

An excellent study of the cultural forces that went into creating the idea of the "good mother" - attachment parenting and a host of other ideas constructing (mostly by men) that put mothers in an impossible bind. Be constantly available to your baby. Follow your instincts, but trust your doctors. The research portions of the book are woven together with Reddy's own experience as a mother. Beautifully written and meticulously researched, with a special focus on the women in the shadows of that research program. The wives of these famous researchers, it turns out, had lots to say about mothering (who knew?), and/but their careers were sidelined for their husbands.

"The underlying problem is that the 'good mother' isn't really a person. She's a subject of capitalism, charged with optimizing every aspect of her kids' childhood so she can produce good future workers and consumers. And this, too—the competitiveness and …

An excellent study of the cultural forces that went into creating the idea of the "good mother" - attachment parenting and a host of other ideas constructing (mostly by men) that put mothers in an impossible bind. Be constantly available to your baby. Follow your instincts, but trust your doctors. The research portions of the book are woven together with Reddy's own experience as a mother. Beautifully written and meticulously researched, with a special focus on the women in the shadows of that research program. The wives of these famous researchers, it turns out, had lots to say about mothering (who knew?), and/but their careers were sidelined for their husbands.

"The underlying problem is that the 'good mother' isn't really a person. She's a subject of capitalism, charged with optimizing every aspect of her kids' childhood so she can produce good future workers and consumers. And this, too—the competitiveness and individualism baked into our image of the good mother sacrificing anything to get the best for her kids—is part off the trap. If we're indoors obsessing over whether our baby is meeting developmental milestones fast enough or which private preschool to select for our toddler, if we're memorizing scripts that promise to fix tantrums and googling lunchbox hack, we're not out in our communities organizing for universal pre-K or free school lunches. The good mother thinks always of her own children first." (8)