Platonic - Outside of a Dog

English language

Published July 22, 2022 by Penguin Publishing Group.

ISBN:: 9780593331897

(1 review)

Loneliness is an epidemic, in part due to a culture that prioritizes romance at the expense of all other relationships. But in fact, science shows that platonic friendships are a crucial--possibly THE crucial--key to shaping who we are and how we can become our happiest, most fulfilled selves. So how do we nurture meaningful relationships in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos?

Just as economist Emily Oster (Crib Sheet) breaks down the science of child-rearing by countering fables with facts, psychologist and professor Marissa G. Franco unpacks the latest (often counterintuitive) findings about friendship--for example, why your friends aren't texting you back (it's not because they hate you!), and the myth of "just showing up" (you need to bring more than your mere presence to the table to make real friends!). Forging lasting bonds with other people isn't rocket science...but it does take work, and there are research-based ways …

Loneliness is an epidemic, in part due to a culture that prioritizes romance at the expense of all other relationships. But in fact, science shows that platonic friendships are a crucial--possibly THE crucial--key to shaping who we are and how we can become our happiest, most fulfilled selves. So how do we nurture meaningful relationships in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos?

Just as economist Emily Oster (Crib Sheet) breaks down the science of child-rearing by countering fables with facts, psychologist and professor Marissa G. Franco unpacks the latest (often counterintuitive) findings about friendship--for example, why your friends aren't texting you back (it's not because they hate you!), and the myth of "just showing up" (you need to bring more than your mere presence to the table to make real friends!). Forging lasting bonds with other people isn't rocket science...but it does take work, and there are research-based ways to improve the number and quality of your connections. The good news: the benefits can be massive to not just our sense of wellbeing but also to our physical health.

With vivid, relatable storytelling bolstered by the latest psychological research, Platonic provides a clear and actionable blueprint for understanding and conquering the barriers that keep you from forging strong, lasting connections with others. In short, Platonic will give you permission to hold friendship in the highest regard--because it deserves to be.

1 edition

raveller reviewed Platonic by Marisa Franco

Read if you are straight, upper middle class, not traumatized, and just want to make some shifts in how you hang out with other people who are like you

2 stars

Very upper middle class, very heteronormative, very neurotypical. It's like attachment styles are perfume choices and you can make a different choice.

Lots of studies but almost every one seemed like "these kinds of people are better and happier and look they will be better and happier in the future, so if you want to be happy you should act like them." The ableism was painful. The heteronormative erasure of queer love was painful. No serious reckoning with trauma or racism or desire or anything that actually shapes people's lives.

I would have enjoyed a light hearted memoir about the author's friendship journey, which really seemed to be at the core of what she was trying to say. Even more if that memoir got more serious and started playing on the queer desire that repeatedly gets written off and supressed throughout each anecdote, personal and historical. A la "Carol," a …

Very upper middle class, very heteronormative, very neurotypical. It's like attachment styles are perfume choices and you can make a different choice.

Lots of studies but almost every one seemed like "these kinds of people are better and happier and look they will be better and happier in the future, so if you want to be happy you should act like them." The ableism was painful. The heteronormative erasure of queer love was painful. No serious reckoning with trauma or racism or desire or anything that actually shapes people's lives.

I would have enjoyed a light hearted memoir about the author's friendship journey, which really seemed to be at the core of what she was trying to say. Even more if that memoir got more serious and started playing on the queer desire that repeatedly gets written off and supressed throughout each anecdote, personal and historical. A la "Carol," a la "The Hours."