Reviews and Comments

I wasn't prepared to read smut, but it is a lot of smut. And it makes sense, with characters who have extensive fan fiction fandom history, how the smut is written, not just the sex scenes, but the conversations that I wish I saw more in queer mainstream published literature. Namely, conversations about dysphoria, internalized transphobia, how desiring others impacts how we identify or desire our own bodies, the loneliness of queer trans time whether you learn early or later in your life. I didn't read this for the smut, and there was so much to the story outside of the smut.

Too often I see queer trans lit where people are so accepting there is nothing said, and I do like that sometimes, I do wish not to have to struggle for being trans, but my trans experience in reality has been informed by my struggle. Too often I see queer trans lit where people are so unaccepting that there is also nothing said but pain, but my trans experience is also informed by those who have been kind, curious, willing to be held accountable, and willing to deeply consider what accepting my existence means for how they treat themselves. Whether it's how to refer and interact with genitals, to the ways in which transition can be a constant and/or impromptu thing that one's (potential) partner might consider at any time and how that might effect how desire has been defined up to that point. In a way, it makes sense that these characters and the story have the tone of fan fic, it's often in fan fic that we see fans reimagining what might occur between characters outside of the cannon, what keeps them sustained and intertwined-- or not.

Furthermore, Sol's vampirism is not just about the fantasy of a hot, sexy, shiny vampire that lives forever. Vampirism is rather treated as a debilitating health condition that makes the barriers that he faces in managing his condition along with his relationships or housing strikingly familiar to others with chronic disabilities.

One last note, I do enjoy the mixed media of the book that emphasize a reality not predicated fully on in-person dialogue, including excerpts from bulletin boards and email chains that still do well in the format of audio.